Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
