My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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