I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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