A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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