im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
