We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
