You're my little dorito
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
