She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
