Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
