Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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