I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
