I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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