Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
