Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
