mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's Friday. Sex?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
