Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
