I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
