She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
