ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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