please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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