I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize