Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
