no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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