I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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