I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
