love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
