then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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