My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
