I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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