so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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