I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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