we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
