Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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