people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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