I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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