spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
