I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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