Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
