Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
