Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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