I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
