my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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