i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
