even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
