the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
