So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
