So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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