Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
