You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize