Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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