lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
