His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
