i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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