can u get pink eye on your cock?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
