do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
