i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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