When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize