Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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