I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
