We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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