whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
