Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
